So I'm also thinking about anarchy and polyamory and reading about what other people want or at least what they want to call themselves. I don't really want to call myself anything, and I feel rather veil-like in the face of all these opinions, an observer or a phantom. Not in society, outside, not in anything.
I wonder if I have a poem about the Green-eyed Monster. Actually, it sounds like me, the green-eyed monster, born on a Wednesday, a child full of woe, with green eyes. I'm knitting myself a halter top with wool I spun. My hair is long, and perhaps, at the bottom of the lake, it would go green with algea, and the wool would turn to green and my skin too, I'd be a mermaid. A green-eyed monster mermaid.
I know I don't want to tell people what they should do, or how they should be. And I know I don't have any answers. But I'm learning, I'm looking inside, which is good to do now and then.
I've been jealous before. But I haven't always been. I think I've thrown away all my poems about jealousy. Feelings of betrayal, as Emma says, do not lead to beauty. But I still believe in fidelity, so I'm practicing fidelity on myself these days, summer days of getting things done.
Fidelity first is freedom,
the promises we made.
Once we lived in Eden,
pushing against the glade.
Fidelity is memory,
the ivy on the vine.
At least we will have known it
when it comes the time.
Freedom is fidelity,
each one has the key;
though we may not choose to turn it
though we may prefer to burn it
or simply throw it in the sea.
